Highheels

Why we should still lead with encouragement — even when it feels like no one is encouraging us

There are days when I leave meetings—internal ones, client ones, even 1:1s with people I deeply respect—and I feel… invisible.

No “thank you.”

No “great point.”

No eye contact, even.

Just a blur of agendas, deadlines, decisions.

And me, sitting there, wondering: Does anyone even notice how hard I’m trying?

If you’ve ever been in that space, I want to tell you—you’re not alone.

But here’s what I’ve learned after years of consulting, coaching, and navigating boardrooms and back-to-back calls:

We all want to be seen.

And ironically, we’re all waiting for someone else to go first.

The Silent Frustration

It’s deeply human to crave acknowledgment.

A simple “thank you” can mean the world. A smile at the start of a tough meeting can shift the whole mood. A peer saying “good job” when no one else does? That can get you through the week.

But what happens when no one does?

When everyone’s too busy, too focused, too in their own storm to offer even the smallest spark of encouragement?

I used to sit in that space and feel drained. Resentful, even.

Why should I keep lifting others up when no one is doing that for me?

The Turning Point

And then—one day—I chose to flip the script.

Instead of waiting, I started.

I smiled first.

I opened meetings with lightness.

I started saying “thank you” to every voice in the room.

I started calling out brilliant insights—even if they weren’t mine.

Not because it was easy.

But because I realized: I can be the culture I wanted to work in.

And something shifted.

The Science Behind the Smile

Here’s the fascinating part: neuroscience backs this up.

We are wired to mimic. Mirror neurons in our brains fire when we see someone else yawn, smile, laugh—or even show kindness. It’s automatic, subconscious, and incredibly powerful.

Pair that with our deep need for social belonging, and suddenly this makes sense:

When you model warmth, others feel it—and want to reflect it back.

I’ve seen this play out over and over again. A tense team becomes collaborative. A distracted client becomes engaged. A quiet peer lights up because you noticed their work.

It doesn’t happen overnight.

But it does happen.

The Slow Magic of Encouragement

Encouragement isn’t a reward for good behavior. It’s a tool to create it.

It’s not a reaction—it’s a decision.

And in a world that sometimes forgets to say thank you, the most powerful thing we can do is choose to be the one who remembers.

Because one day, when you least expect it, someone else will smile first.

They’ll say thank you before you do.

And in that moment, you’ll realize: You started a ripple. And it came back.

Eine Antwort schreiben

Deine E-Mail-Adresse wird nicht veröffentlicht. Erforderliche Felder sind mit * markiert