Boots
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Grace Over Games: Leading the Person Who Tries to Undermine You
You’re in charge. A new team member joins. They shake your hand, smile, nod—and then proceed to ignore everything you say. At first, it’s subtle. A deadline slightly missed. A different format than the one you asked for. Small things, and maybe you think: “They’re just finding their feet.” You give it time. But soon, the pattern sharpens. In meetings, they talk over you. They change decisions behind your back. Their tone is passive-aggressive. To your face, they’re pleasant—but the results tell another story. You sense it. Others sense it too. And you ask yourself: What is going on here? And more dangerously: Did I do something wrong? Let’s pause…
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From Survival to Strategy: How Journaling Became My Anchor
More than a decade ago, I didn’t start journaling because I wanted to. I started because I had to. Life had placed me in a tough private situation—one that shook my foundation far beyond the walls of my home. Even though I kept showing up at work, leading teams, delivering results, and putting on the polished armor of professionalism, the truth was: my strength was stretched thinner than it had ever been. Every morning, I would power through, believing I could handle the day. Meetings, deadlines, leadership challenges—it all felt manageable at first. But then, around early afternoon, the emotions I had carefully tucked away would come rushing in like…
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Your detours write history
Every good storyline evolves around a person who needs to overcome challenges – a big loss, an unfortunate turn in life, a challenge too big to overcome alone. We get intrigued by those kind of stories and suffer with the main cast until the (happy) end. Yet, in our own lives, we are quite upset once even a single little step doesn’t work – the delayed promotion, the reduced bonus, the unfair feedback. In movies, we can acknowledge how obstacles strengthen the hero of the story. In our own lives, we cannot even accept a little hurdle. We feel that the missed chance to get to the one great university…
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Attention: trap ahead!
„I have sooooooo much to do.“ I would love to get a dollar each time I hear this sentence of people in leadership roles. Of course I get it: asside from people really having a lot to do, this sentence is a certain way of communicating a level of importance . But as a coach, I’m a bit concerned that a leader is telling this story to himself/herself. Because let’s face it: you are paid for having ’so much to do‘. This is not even your leadership role. Here is what concerns me: If you are telling people around you that you are already packed with topics, you won’t get…
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What will last?
Recently I was hit by a picture on social media: a man being honored by his company for his 85th aniversary within the firm – he being 100 years old, sitting on his desk with a certificate smiling into the camera. Although I get the beauty of the value ‚loyalty‘, this picture moved loyalty to a certain level of absurdity. Absurdity because you could see that his tasks were done at a desk – but all the colleagues and people who got to know him along the way were missing. If you look back at the years, you have been working so far: What do you remember? There might have…
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What to do when a team member quits
„I need to leave the team“, she sighs. After training her the past year in different roles, I have offered her a leadership position in the team. And while she was thinking about it, she realized that she needed to focus on another role in her life. And that role is not in my team. I have mixed feelings: I am more than proud that she thought deeply and made a decision (these are the type of people I want in my team!) all while I am sad because I will not work with her in the future anymore. Did people quit in your team, too? It is very easy…
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How to handle a missed promotion
Promotion time! And everyone has been promoted except for you! At least, it feels that way. How can you handle such a moment in your career? First of all, stay silent about your disappointment in business – especially if the emotional rollercoaster is still ongoing. In the heat of your emotions you might make statements which you regret once you have thought about it for a while. Therefore, take some time, walk through your emotions with friends and family and let the high peak pass through. Once you feel, you can think clearly again, evaluate your situation. Here are some questions to consider: Why did you miss the promotion? To…
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Your narrative determines success or failure – but differently what you expect
The project is intense. Everyone delivers at their best. You deliver at your best. You walk every extra mile – for the client, for the team, for your career. Mostly, you get positive feedback. But one of your deliverables gets rejected. The feedback feels horrible. Instead of walking on and putting the one negative feedback in perspective to all the affirming ones, your mind plays a trick on you. The feedback regarding your work somehow transfers to you as a person. The sentence „the deliverable is not good enough“ echoes into a „you are not good enough“ – getting louder and louder. If the self-talk isn’t stopped at this point,…
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When life hits hard: continue to walk
Tears fill his eyes as he remembers last November. Everything had been fine. And then … this incredible sadness took over. Colours faded to grey. His life changed. Noone had died. He still got his job. But the demands of an uncertain pandemic clouded his soul. He recalls how he wasn’t able to smile. Getting ready for work was a challenge. Focussing on important tasks seemed insignificant. Until today, he cannot tell where this episode came from and he doesn’t know when it will end. It’s a bit frightening that everyone can be hit by a wave of sadness and feeling of meaninglessness at any point in life. Maybe you…
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The best is yet to come
What sounds like a phrase of a fortune cookie, could actually have more impact in your life than you’d think. The headline displays a certain belief towards life which is rooted in an underlying narrative that everyone defines for him/herself. Have you ever heard sentences like „If I just had xy, then I could do/buy/move …“, „I cannot do x because …“ or „If my boss/team/client wasn’t that way, then …“. Those narratives attribute responsibility away from the speaker towards other people or circumstances. In short: „If you cannot swim, it’s due to the lousy swimwear.“ And although there might be tough life circumstances, attributing all your ‚why nots‘ to…