A compliment a day keeps burnout away

They are doing an experiment: walking to people and tell them that they are beautiful. The result is captured on video and the faces are stunning. Everyone smiles. Shy. Proud. Happy.

Watching these clips even makes me smiling. Seeing happy people resonates within me and I get happy, too. Can you relate? When we smile during the day all of the sudden the tension of a moment is gone and life seems easier.

What if we could use this effect at work?

Last week I could see this effect on my colleagues, too. I actively looked at my colleagues’ reaction when I had the chance to speak support, hope and encouragement in their lives. They all smiled.

Getting in contact with someone who has good and honest intentions for us opens our hearts and gives us a moment of relaxation. Having those moments at work gives back energy and people can progress in their day more energized. All that is needed is you. This one person that is watching out where to spend the next honest compliment or the next story of hope.

Let’s do a challenge this week: Find one person a day that smiles because of you.

You are not good enough

When doing a career, stop sabotaging yourself!

Just recently I watched one of my favourite stand-up comedians. He was putting himself in the perspective of someone living and thinking only in stereotypes and thereby the whole scene clearly got preposterous. Although the audience knew that he was acting out, the truth of the displayed mindset was too real to applaud immediately. Rather – the audience went quiet every once in a while, knowing that this mindset was part of their reality, too. The comedian got to his goal. Making his audience aware of the little box in their heads that sets boundaries to their mindset.

Sometimes your mindset is bound to stereotypes or limited by lies, too. As long as they are not challenged, you probably won’t even notice which fixed assumptions are navigating your thoughts.

But here is an important aspect: Your thoughts are directing your decisions. Your mindset is influencing your behaviour unconsciously.

As long as you are happy with your life, choices and results, you probably won’t see a need to check on your mindset. (Sidenote: it still might be valuable to reflect on your self-believes.) But when you are not as successful as you want to be or if you are successful but extremely exhausted, it might be helpful to check on your assumptions.

For the next few lines the scenario is plainly focused on success in business – although you can extend the thought-provoking ideas also to your private life. One classical mindset will be taken as an example and examined from the out- and in-side. Maybe you find yourself in this. Maybe you have a different mindset that needs challenge. In any case, be bold to rethink your assumptions.

Let’s assume you are convinced: “I am not good enough.”

This conviction can be deep inside you although you are very successful in your career. Still, whenever there is a new challenge, you will need to prove to you or others that you are good enough for it. In consequence, you are almost always overachieving. You are best in class or top in your peer. Nevertheless, deep within you, you know exactly what you could have done better… in essence: you are not good enough.

This inner mindset of not being good enough costs you a lot of energy. It is this fear that keeps you up all night studying and turning the numbers on a sunny sunday. And even when you score best, deep within you are not satisfied. This voice isn’t silenced.

For your own time of reflection let me ask you this:

  1. How well does your mindset serve you?
  2. What other assumptions do you believe and where are they leading you to?

The cycle of success

Add more components of what you love doing in your workday and your job will become easier. With you feeling lighter and more joyful, your clients and colleagues will be touched, too. This is how you start a positive cycle of success…

“For my job I like getting up in the morning”, my friend smiles. Four years ago he quit his studies. Low motivation and missing focus led to bad grades and slowly to the conviction that he was on the wrong path. Still, giving up on a lifestyle that is socially accepted and getting on a perceived lower track isn’t easy on the ego. Today he is happy with his daily tasks. Consequently, his joy and power transfers on his clients and colleagues, leading to success in business which nourishes the positive feelings towards the job. “When you love what you do, success is inevitable”, he says with a broad smile.

When you love what you do, success is inevitable

Experience

Is your cycle of “I love my job and my job loves me” working?

What is happening for you when reading this question? Do you even believe that there is a job constellation for you in which you would actually love working? Or are your already there?

Independent from which angle you are looking at the cycle-question let me give you a few questions to reflect on. Take some time to think about each one and take notes of what is running through your mind. These moments of reflection are healthy to become aware of your status quo. Sometimes life rushes by and without noticing a year passed and you didn’t live intentionally and with purpose. But it is in your hands to add components of what you truly love to your workday and thereby keeping the cycle of success spinning.

What did you like doing when you were a child? – Reflect and write down what comes to your mind. This questions assumes that you have been doing things as a child that felt natural and joyful to you. Maybe you won’t do exactly the same things today – but you might find tasks that use the same skill that you have trained as a kid.

With what kind of people do you like spending your time? – The answer to this question might also be: no people at all. That’s totally fine, too. The important thing is that you know what you like and find as many moments in your day that reflect your preference.

How do you recharge? – The idea of this question is simple: if you recharge while doing the work you get paid for, you will not leave your workplace exhausted but rather thrilled and excited. If you could add a few components of the aspects of how you recharge, you will have more power during the day and feel much happier at work.

How do you express thankfulness and love? – Usually human beings get happy when they can show their thankfulness to others. Therefore it is an easy exercise to increase your happiness during the day. You choose whether you need to give a gift, speak words of affirmation or clap someone on the shoulder. If you know yourself, you can activate these resources in you anytime.

Start your cycle of success

No matter how well your cycle of success is already working, you can keep it up and running by investing in yourself. Your personal well-being during the day and your mindset towards workplace situations are keys to your personal success. Start by integrating short components of your favourite situations and expand the timeframe to your energizing moments whenever possible. Soon you will see how your positivity and power will affect your colleagues and clients positively.

If your job makes you wanna puke – this helps!

The sailing ship is strong in the teeth of the wind. The waves are hitting short and forceful and the whole boat is vibrating. Despite the lovely sunshine and amazing deep blue sea all around, my sense of balance tells me that I am not on firm ground. Before I am getting too dizzy, I fix my eyes on the horizon. The only sight that can give me focus, direction and a sense of security right now. And while my view is resting on the long calming horizon, I actually enjoy this sailing trip despite strong winds.

In our career it is actually the same. Sometimes we feel dizzy, misplaced and if we are honest the job makes us wanna puke. Very often this happens when we are some time into a thing – our studies, the first job, the latest career position. The sense and hype of the new has just gone and all of a sudden we ask ourselves what are we doing!?

If you have ever been in that moment, you know how these thoughts of giving up are slowly emerging. What had seemed to be a very good decision once, now feels empty and even exhausting. Why continuing?

If you are at that point, it is time to look at the horizon again.

  • Where are you heading?
  • What is your goal?
  • Why did you choose your majors / your job in the first place?

Although it might be a good time to recalibrate your life, maybe you just need to fixate the horizon again and keep going. Not every part of the way is awesome fun – sometimes you need to get through a time of recession or a plateau in your career. And during these hard times it is worthwhile to recall your long-term goals and dreams. Do you still want to reach them? Is your way still leading to that destination? Then keep on moving.

Stop limiting yourself

When it comes down to succeeding in any type of situation, it crucial whether you believe in your abilities or not. What belief is limiting your potential?

What do you believe about yourself?

We all know that particular colleague who somehow is over-confident and everyone is annoyed by the pride displayed. Nevertheless, when it comes down to achievements, these people reach more than one would think judged by their potential.

If you are convinced that you cannot reach a certain goal or do a particular action, you will never try. Or you try, but the shakiness in your actions lets other people doubt whether you are fully capable of what you are doing. We know this pattern as ‘self fulfilling prophecy”.

But what if your convictions about your potential and abilities are wrong? What if you are not as stupid / ugly / unwanted as you think? What could be different in your life?

Here is one interesting thought that might change your perspective regarding your cleverness. Professor Carol Dweck analyzed the learning potential of human beings, leading to new assumptions based on the mindset of the individuum. While there is the potential to get stuck in your learning abilities due to a ‘set mindset’, you are also capable of enhancing your abilities all your life when living with a ‘growth mindset’. The difference is the assumption that you take regarding your ability. In the first case you assume that you have already reached your peak performance; hence, every setback will convince you that you cannot progress and therefore you already have reached your limits. A ‘growth mindset’ sees failure or setbacks as a status-quo description but not a measurement of the potential that lies within you. Professor Dweck summarizes her results in this easy way:

Test scores and measures of achievement tell you where a student is, but they don’t tell you where a student could end up. – 

Carol Dweck

So, where can you end up?


Being challenged to think about these type of questions is part of a coaching session. A coach will always bring in new perspectives, challenge your mindset and uncover self-limiting beliefs. This is why Coaching can be tremendously exhausting and you need a lot of courage to face your inner fears. But once done, you will love the freedom that comes with the changed perspective of your life.

If you want to know more about coaching, check this: www.mgmtcnsltng.org

My bonus shows I am undervalued

If you handle failure the right way, you win nonetheless.

There are these times – the promotion has been denied, the deal has been lost, the project failed. The bonus is lower than expected and the pay raise had been higher once. Despite all the time and personal invest, you are confronted with failure. What usually worked, all of a sudden doesn’t.

Although everyone knows that the paycheck doesn’t reflect a person’s worth, very often people feel tremendously undervalued when not achieving their aspired goals. High performing business people invest so much time and energy into their professional success that the reward gets mentally linked to their identity and self-esteem. As long as win follows win this connection feels awesome. It is not only a professional win – it is also a validation of the person, to some even their personality. Sometimes the feeling of invincibility is visible from the outside by posture and gesture.

This grown connection between success and personality or even identity becomes dangerous when success is being delayed. Or worse: if failure is settling in. One bad situation might be handled. But if failure after failure is hitting, the impact cannot be ignored. All of a sudden the business flop feels like being a failure as a person. Bad comments of colleagues on top and the self-esteem crumbles. Depending on the person, the downward slide can take pretty long and is quite devastating.

Crack the causal connection of success and identity

When in a downward spiral it is quite easy to spot the unhealthy connections between success and self-esteem. It can be felt deep inside. Thoughts of failure keep nagging. So, if you currently feel like you are a total loser check on this connection in your brain. Yes, you might have failed in business issues. And no, that doesn’t define who you are as a person. Use this awareness to crack the causal connection of success and identity within you and explore who you are as a person. Thereby you win as a person although you are walking through failure.

But even when there is no failure trend in sight, it is helpful to disconnect personal success from the feeling of self-worth. Only because you are successful, e.g. got the promotion or won the big deal, doesn’t mean that you are more worth than anybody else. Step away from entitlement and be thankful for what you have. This way you can enjoy your success and you are prepared for times of failure.

Will you regret your success?

If you follow an unreflected assumption of success, you will lose in the big picture. Check yourself with the questions provided.

The group gathered from all ends of the world at the wooden kitchen table in some hostel in the middle of Dubai. They are exploring what success means to them and what they want from life. The swiss girl just quit her job and is convinced that success lies in happiness. And happiness is not connected to money. The guy from argentina is having is laptop in front of him – just doing one last thing for his job. He wants to get rich. Money it is!

The engineer from Kenia tries to find the balance between these two extremes – a certain amount of money will lead to happiness, he argues. But chasing money all your life doesn’t add value.

What is success to you?

How you answer this question will tremendously influence your behavior. And if you are one of many who hasn’t found your unique individual answer, it is worthwhile to check on your actions. Where do you allocate your time? Where do you invest your money?

Money and time are tremendous indicators in telling what is truly in a person’s heart. And there you will also find the truth of what you believe success means to you.

It is being able to go to bed each night with your soul at peace.

Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho is addressing success from a different angle. He brings in a measurement of peace. What do you think of this viewpoint?

Think early, avoid regret

Everyone wants to feel successful. This is how our brain is wired. If we are successful we get this tranquilizing rush that lets us feel happy, invincible and at peace. Unluckily, if we are wired to the wrong measurement, e.g. what success means to us, we will pursue agendas that won’t lead to an overall successful life.

Let’s take money as an example: Earning the first money is awesome. We are able to afford to move out from our parents homes or to buy our very first own trip abroad. It feels awesome. We are successful. So our brain learns that more money is wired to a feeling of happiness.

Over time it will get harder to increase the income. The sacrifices are higher, we need to invest a lot of time to stay top of our peer and get promotions. If we never question the underlying measurement of success – in this case: money – we will run blindsided into problems, e.g. losing close relationships.

regret/rɪˈɡrɛt/

a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do.

Dictionary

In order not to regret your behavior when it is too late, it is clever to question your measurements early in your career. With a regular reflection you are able to pursue a career and still keep your measurement in check.

What does success mean to you?

What evidence do you see in your behaviour – especially in time and money allocation – that shows that you your assumption about yourself is correct?