What do you want?

“What do you want?” – the question haunts me ever since my coaching trainer asked it. It seems an easy question at first. You would assume that one knows what he/she wants. But do you really?

I want to have a loving family. I want to have a lots of friends. I want to be rich. I want to look healthy. I want to be successful. I want …

The list can be continued. But as you dive into just one topic, you soon realize that everything of that list needs a certain investment. Every single aspect requires time, dedication and focus from you.

Let’s take one example: A loving family doesn’t happen by accident. There are people who define and shape habits in the family that lead to a loving atmosphere. There is persistence in keeping values at the center of the family despite having arguments. When you shape the behaviour of your family, you will be the first person acting according to the set goal. And that could mean being the first person to apologize or taking down the trash in order to model a behaviour you want others to follow. Over time you shape the family culture towards the goal you have in mind. But it requires you to constantly invest in your ‘I want a loving family’.

If that is true for everything you want, the question is what you like to invest in on a daily basis? What is the price you are willing to pay in terms of small habits that will result in what you want?

Let’s take this thought towards your career and your team. Quite often, I hear people complain about the team atmosphere and behaviour of bosses and colleagues. The flipside of a complain is a need or want. In this case: “I want to work in a cool team.” If that is, what you want, then: what do you invest into that team on a regular basis?

This can be analyzed even further: How does your dream team culture look like? What behaviour do you want to see from your team mates? Where and how can you model this behaviour today?

Being aware of the price tag that comes with every ‘want’ you have, makes you contious about what you really want. As most of our wishes are shaped by small habits, it needs quite some time until we see the first results. And that needs consistency on our side.

For example, I really wanted to run a blog. But that blog requires me to write on a weekly basis. It is pure consistency that filled the pages that let me name myself a ‘blogger’ today. As a cool side effect, the weekly training shapes my writing style and enhances my speed in creating text. This is not only helpful writing blog articles, but it influences my job in a very profound way. When others need hours for writing action titles and relevant texts, I am done in a quarter of the time at least. But I would have never gotten to this point, if I hadn’t pushed myseld through idealess moments and forced myself to write.

Investing in something that you want isn’t as glamourous as the goal may promise. And in a way, you will never have reached the goal and then stop your habit. The goal is not status quo but a lifestyle full of habits that create a result that you love.

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