Finding passion

If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

I love my job“, the young lady smiles to me. We just got to know each other and while sharing our current work environments, she smiles, speaks enthusiastically and beams. You can tell: she. loves. her. job. “This hasn’t always been the that way”, Alice continues. “After my first graduation, I tried to fit into my workplace, lost the job, was unemployed and tried to find something suitable for my educational background. But actually I didn’t want to work in that area anymore.”

I guess, a lot of people can relate to Alice. For some reason you choose your studies and start working in your job. You try to fit in but somehow the days pass by in a meaningless stream of unfulfilling tasks. Every morning it’s getting harder to get up and get going. You just feel that you are not doing what you want to be doing.

One day I was wondering when I had the best times of my life“, Alice adds to her story. “It was in school and in my year abroad. And then I knew what I had to do: find a way to get back into school ministry and work with kids. Fast forward: it is what I am currently doing. I become a special type of teacher for which I need my professional background. And now I have the third time the best time of my life.”

I love the focus, determination and courage in Alice story. Coming from a time of unemployment, getting finally a job again, one could think to just be thankful and live with the unfulfilling but rent-paying job. But instead setting the focus on a potential solution, be determined to change one’s future and to be bold enough to walk the talk – thats an inspiring and truly life changing attitude.

If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

Emanuel James “Jim” Rohn, Author & Motivational Speaker

Focus

What are you focussing on in your job? My bet: you rather speak about the bad things than on the positive aspects. This misbehaving colleague. That nasty client. People tend to focus on the problem than on the potential solution. And with this focus the problem even becomes bigger. And I get it: it so easy to speak about the negative things – because they are there. They are real and they influence your emotions.

But what if you wouldn’t spend so much time on describing the problem to everyone around you and rather think about a solution!? Turn your focus away from the negativity. Start describing the changed situation to yourself. How do you feel? With whom do you work? What tasks do you do?

Those questions are not easy and they might take months or even years to be answered – but nevertheless, take the effort. Search for your sweet spot. Look for the role and position you were meant to fill in.

Determination

How intensely do you desire change? How much longer do you want to stay in your complaint-corner? Do you really want to change your focus?

To be determined

– having made a firm decision and being resolved not to change it

Dictonary

Determination is needed for any change. You need to be convinced that you want to be in a different position/mindset/state in the years to come in order to leave your status quo. You need to find the next steps that will lead you to your new place. At this point you don’t need to know everything about your destination but rather having the firm decision that you do not want to stay where you are right now. Are you determined?

Courage

Are you ready to leave your status quo? This is the moment when your heart starts beating. “What-ifs” start flashing through your mind. Without knowing the outcome you need to take your first step. And that takes courage.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.

Mark Twain

Your change might require to move to another city, quit a job, get out of certain relationships and live through financial insecurity. Are you brave enough?

I can still recall Alice smiling face. Smiling with focus, determination and courage. Inspiring.

Empowered by Laughter

“Laughter is fireworks for the soul”, they say. Enlightening this powerful resource at work, will make your day easier.

London. I am in a pub with colleagues. One of them just shares a hilarious story. Everybody laughs. A good laugh. A freeing one. Times flies, stories being shared and as soon as I am inhaling the rainy fresh air of the night, I am feeling energized and reloaded.

What a good laughter is capable of. Its amazing.

I should laugh more. Especially at work. This thought creeps slowly through my mind and I am realizing what has been missing the past weeks. A strengthening, energizing laugh. Running from meeting to meeting, creating tons of slides, squeezing in emails and calls just took too much attention and power.

But actually, when is it easy to laugh at work?

Recalling from experience it is easiest when I know “why” I am there. Working with purpose, knowing there is a goal I am heading to and I am enjoying the ride – with colleagues having a similar mindset.

Let’s take a closer look.

Laughing because you have purpose

I sit in a room full of inspiring motivated people. Everyone is sharing one’s story. Everyone is quite honest. Even with hopes and fears. One cite of a well-situated woman strucks me at heart. She seems to have everything. Being healthy, living in a wealthy environment in a spectacular scenery, having time and money for travelling … the whole package – but she admits the absence of meaningful work and purpose in her life leaves her desperate and empty. And hence, with less laughter than she’d like to have.

My life is nice. But nice isn’t enough.

A lady

Her statement resonates within me. I’m a big fan of living my life outside the comfort zone. Only in a stretch situation I am one step closer to my goal. Although this stretchy moment can cause some fear, the joy that rushes in when I have grown, mastered an obstacle and overcame fear leads to a massive smile and satisfaction.

Where are you just playing „nice“? Remember: you are missing out on a good hero’s laugh.

Laughing because you have people to laugh with

Is it just me or is a day easier when you are with the right pack!?

Luckily I get to work with great colleagues a lot – some becoming friends over time. And I see there is a certain dynamic when a good mix of people is together. Even if a task is hard to manage, a tight timeline needs to be met or a client is getting crazy – with the right team you can handle everything and feeling energized despite stress.

If you haven’t found your tribe yet, continue searching. Some people are meant to work together. In the meantime invest in your mindset and become the best colleague you want to work with. [You might get some inspiration in this classic book from Dale Carnegie (1936) which is used in all US elite universities in the general curriculum: How to win friends & influence people]

Colleagues are key. Make yours laugh today.

Thanks at this point to all my colleagues who are laughing with me. I feel blessed and privileged to have you in my life. 

Rewind your mind

Burnout doesn’t hunt you down overnight. With the right routine for your mind you stay mentally strong even through tough times.

Would you leave your phone uncharged for a day? Would you miss a session of brushing your teeth? Some things are so implemented in your routines that you even feel unhappy when you are not able to follow them.

And those routines are good. They keep you physically healthy and able to perform.

You have routines for your technical equipment, your car and apartment. You know how to take care of your body. But did you ever think of routines necessary for your soul and mind?

You might get some inspiration in the next lines for selected routines.

Daily

Every evening you take off the dirt of your daily hustle by following your beauty routines. But what happens to your soul? What happens with all the stress, joy, unfairness, decisions etc. you endured during the day? You need to care for it and deal with it, too.

In the western hemisphere, many children are raised with the evening prayer – your parents sit down at your bed and you tell each other the highs and lows of the day and thank God for his goodness. But when growing up you often leave this “childish” evening ritual. What if this evening moment is as useful for your mind as brushing your teeth for your body!?

As an adult you could get back to this daily routine. By writing down three situations, you are thankful for or list the situations that have been unfair but which you want to forgive, you rewind your mind.

For sure, this daily routine doesn’t have to be in the evening. Using 10 minutes of meditation in the morning also cleanses your mind and you are ready to start the new day. It does not particularly matter when during the day to reset, but rather the consistency in doing so. This daily routine will help you gaining a crisp and clear focus to what is important to you by cleaning up the ‘noise’ which is subconsciously going on in the background in your head and keeping you distracted.

For more inspiration on daily routines a separate article is coming out soon.

Weekly

Remember the lines in the song Manic Monday!?

It’s just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
‘Cause that’s my fun day
My I don’t have to run day

The Bangles

A lot of people feel this way. On Monday, we talk about what was going on at the weekend and latest by Wednesday, the first colleagues ask what is planned for the upcoming two days off. So in terms of work and leisure time you are aware that there is a certain structure. How can you use this structure to become mentally strong?

Once a week you should try to see the world from a different angle – from a mountain top, off a horse’ back, reading a book or in deep conversation with someone having a different worldview to regain creativity and views of differing perspectives. Put your mind in an uncommon environment and challenge your mind to get out of the routines’ thinking. Also put your body in a different motion – if you sit a lot during the week, go outside and move yourself.

Having problems in leaving the week behind, get some inspiration in this article: https://consultinginhighheels.com/2019/02/25/road-to-recharge/

Monthly/Quarterly

Depending on your own flavor, take ½ day each month or a weekend per quarter to get out of your routine life. Especially when you are overwhelmed with stress and sorrows you need to put a “stop” to that and walk away! Even if it is only a few hours in your local sauna or a long walk in the woods. Get away! Physically – and step by step mentally. You weren’t made to continuously live in anxiety and stress. Give yourself a break and just be yourself.

Visit a new city. Go to that museum. Watch an opera or concert you’ve never did before. Challenge yourself and get into adventure. Your brain will love it! You won’t be able to even think of your life back home.

At the same time your mind will be very thankful for this offsite. Your brain will show gratitude by recharging power, and hence, overflowing with creativity, joy and new ideas.

Further ideas on how to unwind on a regular basis will be posted shortly.

Yearly

Are you happy? Is your life worth living? Do you do what you want to do? Very often, these questions arise at the natural break of New Year’s Eve. Or they hunt you down at your birthday. And even if you put this inner need of reflection aside, latest on the next full decade of your age, you will have to reconsider. So, what can be done?  

Here are two thoughts:

It is good and healthy to evaluate your life once a year. 

But what if you chose proactively a dedicated time in the year to evaluate your choices, wishes, friendships etc. shaping your journey instead of being overwhelmed at certain dates? It will give you more freedom to celebrate the annual anniversaries and you have a clearer view on your priorities in life since it is not connected to an emotional filled date.

The evaluation will be shorter if you took care of your mind and soul during the year. 

If you live your life with a daily routine of thankfulness, forgiveness and positivity, you will not have to readjust too intense on your annual mind-stop. You might even be thankful for all the positive choices you took and regret will diminish.

Inspiration on how your annual mind-stop could look like can be found in an article soon to be released.

Putting values on laptop screens is bullshit

Let’s take the challenge to define your very own set of values and how you want to act upon them. Then find a company you want to influence. And if this company writes the values on screens, be the one example that is living the words.

„Putting values on laptop screens is bullshit“, my colleague explodes. We are in the middle of a heated discussion whether a company should communicate its values or not. While he is convinced that managers do “business as usual” without considering values at all – and hence, values don’t need to be listed – , I am arguing that the transparency about values is needed in order to get into this valuable conversations. Especially when there is a discrepancy between words and action.

I guess, you have been part in such a discussion as well – or at least bystander. Let me share some thoughts with you.

Leaders need to act first

I am convinced that leaders need to take the first step. They are the ones forming and building the culture for the whole team. Therefore, if you are a leader already, be aware that you are an example. Accept it.

I have heard many bosses say that they don’t consider their behavior and opinion as important – but this is a wrong perception. As a boss – even if you haven’t chosen that position by yourself – you are watched by your team. And they will check on your values. If you model a law-and-order-mentality, they will use it on their subordinates. If it’s fine in your team to talk behind people’s backs, this behavior will spread. If you are leading by sarcasm, don’t be surprised if your team doesn’t take you seriously.

In turn, I have seen positive values spread as well. Integrity, honesty and appreciation are forceful values that will lead your team to success and prosperity.

Since we are all human beings, we will make mistakes. We are not perfect. And we don’t have to be. If you have failed, admit it. Be open and ask for forgiveness when needed. This will also model your team in a positive way.

Follow your leader

If your leaders act upon their values, follow them. Copy their behavior and see if it works for you as well. By doing so, you are modeled and you will find your own emphasizes and core principles.

Also get into discussion with them and your team mates. What should be part of your culture and what can be adjusted? Use your time as a team mate as a “leader-in-the-making”-phase and define gradually what should be part of your personal value card.

Act as a leader – even when your boss doesn’t

“My boss isn’t a good role model”, is an argument I love to discuss about. Let me ask you this: “Do you believe, that you are (or: will be) a leader?”

Do you believe, that you are (or: will be) a leader?

If so, find your own values and act upon them. You can model a culture around you even if no one else does. This is the very core of a leader: good self-leadership. And it is independent from your current position in the company. You have to find your own way to express your values.

Getting back to the argument with the colleague about putting values on screens. We found common ground in the inner longing for alignment of words and action. And this includes our very own behavior. Instead of complaining about other not following certain values, let us be the ones led by inner principles.

Therefore, let’s take the challenge to define your very own set of values and how you want to act upon them. Then find a company you want to influence. And if this company writes the values on screens, be the one example that is living the words.

Make appreciation stick

Giving a handwritten note to a colleague emphasis the content and creates a memory.

Recently I received a card saying “thanks for being my friend, it’s good to know you and have you in my life”. It feels good. What an honor if people value your friendship and enjoy spending time with you.

The other way around is also true: I love writing paper based notes to family, friends and also colleagues – letting them know what I appreciate about them, what makes them special and why I like spending time with them.

If you wince when reading “colleagues” I will share a few thoughts on why writing small notes of appreciation could actually be a good idea.

The format emphasizes the content

In our digital age we are not used to paper based communication anymore. Therefore, a real note of appreciation stands out – whether it is a sticky note on the screen or a well-chosen postcard. It can be touched and even smelled. The paper has a certain sound. All those elements create a more intense sensation and add to the value of the written content.

The writer learns to choose words precisely

A piece of paper limits the words, condensing the content to the mere core. Knowing that those words will last, they must be chosen well. It gives the writer the chance to think about the person who will receive the note and wrap the thoughts in words.

A physical note can be kept and re-read

The human brain tends to forget. Quickly. Even positive feedbacks only last a few days and are soon overwritten by stress, failure and bad self talk. But a written appreciation can be re-read, reminding the receiver of his/her strengths, positive impact and successes.

I will never forget the postcard I got from the client on my first project – a reorganization of a department with all the stress change brings along. Two ladies of the department wrote “it’s the people you meet you remember”. Despite an unpleasant project it was possible to connect on a human basis and touch people’s hearts. Over 10 years later I still have that card and like to think back.

Who gets your next card?

Trick your brain

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

The human brain is amazing. Even in the midst of adversity the brain is capable of recalling pleasant pictures. And while riding the emotional rollercoaster we can get to ease just by envisioning a calm and uplifting episode of our past.

I am convinced this knowledge makes a difference in your daily routines. And if you use it for your own good, you will become more successful in life. Join me in this thought experiment.

Just pick any stressful situation: an unpleasant feedback of your boss, that furious call of a customer, your child screaming down the neighbourhood for no reason. Immediately your brain switches to stress-mode – you can only focus on the bad, your creativity is limited, you want to run away. All those reactions are totally normal. The human brain is programmed like this. If we get into stress, we want to get out of it. Quickly.

Unluckily running off isn’t possible most of the times. So we suffer in the situation. And even if the stressor is gone, we ponder on the bad feeling; replaying the stress situation again and again.

Interestingly we can keep the bad feeling for quite a long time although the situation has passed. While hitting replay in our minds again and again, we also revive the bad mood attached.

If that is true for stressful memories, why not using it for good!?

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Norman Vincent Peale – Pastor & Author

Pastor Peale nails it down quite precise: instead of rerunning the same hurtful thoughts, the human brain is capable of activating positive recollections. And while thinking of the good old day(s) the emotion slowly follow.

How does it look like to put this into practice?

Keep an assorted collection of your finest memories. Maybe that marvelous sunset at the beach while your feet sunk into soft sand? Perhaps that good laughter with your closest friends over dinner the other night?

Whatever it is, make sure it is easy to recall. Whenever you get into the stressful situation, set yourself an inner “stop!”, relaunch your memory and take a moment to regrow the positive feeling.

Remember: you are not a victim of your (bad) environment and the emotions attached to hard situations. You can keep your inner peace. And by staying calm, be able to think creatively, find new solutions and make good decisions.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4, 23

I wonder whether Pastor Peale is referencing to this bible verse when he is writing about positive thinking. Only a sound mind and a peaceful heart are able to make solid decisions. Decisions that influence our lives.

I encourage you to take care of your emotions. Be the guard of your heart and stop negative thoughts early. Instead turn to powerful memories and refill your emotional reservoir during the day.

Revive your magic spell

Get inspired by Hermann Hesse to draw the most colourful hopes and dreams on your white canvas of unknowing

When was the last time you saw your life full of opportunities? Can you recall a day when the world seemed to lay to your feet ready to be conquered? Often this happens when we face a situation for the first time. We have no idea what could happen but inwardly we vibrantly seek the new opportunities incorporated.

On this white canvas of unknowing our imagination can draw the most colourful hopes and dreams.

For me, such a moment is the first day after moving to a new city. Every street is new, every sound unfamiliar, each walk an exploration. Discovering the cutest hideaway-café, exploring the mysterious parks and enjoying the cities’ architecture are adventures to be experienced.

Same is true for the first day in a new job, a freshborn relationship with the significant other and with a new year.

We pause. Step back. Take a look. And think.

What do I dream of? What do I hope for?

Often I get reminded of an old German poem by Hermann Hesse. It states “each new beginning enfolds a magic spell, which protects us and helps us to live“.

Und jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne,
Der uns beschützt und der uns hilft, zu leben.

Hermann Hesse, Stufen

A new beginning is special for the human soul. Somehow we all long for this moment when we can start anew. We get fascinated by an untouched snowfield with its sparkling white cover. The first sunbeams in the morning that are tickling the waft of mist over dark ground.

These special first moments we remember easily. In Detail. And Slow-Motion. The magic spell is at work.

With the new year at hand let the magic spell be active in your life again and start dreaming for the upcoming months. What would you like to discover? Who do you want to meet? Where do you want to travel?

And last but not least:

When was the last time you experienced something for the first time?

Maybe it’s about time.